I'm looking out my window, watching the orange sunset hit the windows outside, the light is reflected on everyone on the street. The heat from the last rays of sunshine graze their faces, caressing them warmly and desperately trying to protect them from the cold winds that are about to get stronger, faster, until they chill you to the bone if you're not lucky enough to find shelter from it.
The windows are transparent without the sunshine reflected off of them. Clear. Empty. Just glass taking up space, perhaps keeping out the elements but otherwise simply being there. The sunshine is the energy that makes them beautiful. You were my sunshine once upon a time. When I was broken and I thought nobody could repair me, you brought me back to life, your warmth flowed through me and touched my world. You made me beautiful. Stronger. You gave me a purpose, a goal, and I thought your path was the one I should follow. And I loved you, as I loved all those that gave me strength and wisdom. You were my family, and when you were damaged I did everything I could to shelter you, and give you back some of the strength you gave me. I became your sunshine.
But now the glass is broken.
And you're gone.
Not gone from me, you will stay with me forever, in the core of my heart. You can't take that from me.
The new you can't take that away from me. That strength is mine. Don't you dare hurt me anymore. You're different now. The warmth and strength is gone from your cold, empty eyes. There's no shine left in your eyes like I used to tell you about, no sparkle, no magic and no determination. There's nothing. You're not a person, you don't even live, you just exist, and everyone that loved you as you were does not love your shell.
I've let go of your memory and I've grown stronger from it's absence, filling the emptiness you left in my life with my own confidence, strength, and willpower. In your betrayal you have made me stronger, you have given me confidence and you have opened up a new corner of my mind. I hadn't known hatred, not really, not until I watched you destroy those that I loved. You failed to destroy me, but you came too close for comfort. You destroyed a man I loved, crushed him in one fatal blow and sent him spinning into the forgotten corners of past reality. But worst of all you destroyed my friend. And you are destroying her still. Her grace, her strength, and her innocence are being corrupted by your poison. I am watching you take my greatest source of strength and crush it, and it burns me deep down, this newfound hatred bubbles in my throat and I can barely contain the surge of energy and fear. And in that moment I wish you would die. And I understand. This is the very opposite of love. This is the strength my love should burn, but I am numb to it, I feel nothing close to love for anyone anymore. I'm stoic. I'm empty, and it's your fault, you made me this way, all I can see is pain.
But I won't let you hurt me anymore.
Take what you want to take.
I am not strong enough to fight you anymore.
I need to read into my thoughts, I need to understand myself now.
You are the past.
Goodbye. Forget me, please. You do not deserve to keep me in your memory.